x

Right now, my life is pretty much a struggle. One of the problems I'm struggling a lot now is eating.

I haven't eaten a proper meal since a week ago. I feel faint all the time, emotionally weak, physically weak, and its affecting my studies. I've never felt so clueless about work in my life, though I've already told myself to snap out of it and start working hard because I don't want a life of regrets later on. ITS STILL EARLY TO TURN BACK.

While I try to motivate myself, my stomach keeps failing me. I lose appetite so rapidly, all my favourite food looks so dull to me. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that I love kfc and macs...im a HUGE junk food person. However now, whenever I think about eating I want to vomit, not like those forced vomits though, like just naturally want to vomit. Anything that I eat, or drink, will force its way out. And so for the past few days I'm scared to eat because I know it'll come out eventually and the feeling sucks, it makes me so weak.

I just want to eat normal again, I want to feel better again. I know I can, where I am now is really the lowest of the lowest, and since I'm at rock bottom since everything is failing...school, studies, relationships, health... the only place I can go is UP. I acknowledge that I've failed in the past, I've not been the best person or friend ever, I've put my priority in wrong order...I've reflected and learnt so much. And now that I realize where I've gone wrong, I'm not only going to go UP...

I'm going to fly.