First

I've never self reflected so much in my life before. Kept thinking back about the past and how by God's grace, I got to see what kind of person I was. That kind of feeling when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see isnt what you've always known to be. Upon realization, it makes your heart sink, and your stomach starts to churn and you start to feel nausea. Its really the worst kind of feeling in the world.

I told myself that I would not look back anymore, just keep looking forward and learning from my mistakes. Afterall, we all have our first huge screw up in lives don't we? Painful, yes...especially with wrestling with Guilt and Regret that comes at night. Tiring, yes... Afraid, no...Its one thing to fall and remain cursing the ground for making you fall, and another to get up and walk on. I fell, and I've learnt so that I would not fall the same way again. Like a diamond, only by going through tough situations will it start to shine.

I know deep down for sure that the next time would be different.

A much much much better kind of different because despite and through it all...

I know my love for you is was real.

ai sehhhhhhhh.

but anyway...