thoughts

Sometimes I really wanna talk. Sometimes I want a hug because the world may be falling apart. And the next morning I wake up and just think about myself as a fool. One day I can smile hard and in the next, cry harder. I can beg someone to be with me and two seconds after I can beg for him or her to leave me alone. That’s what I do, what I hate the most about me. I hate missing a voice, an arm, a song. I hate missing a call or even the way things were before with friends or with lovers.


But I what I hate the most is to feel. Because when you feel, you just can’t let you, you can’t control, you can’t step back. But I swear I’ll learn to live with this


I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always … so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.