ks

Wow its been really long since I've last blogged.

Hello.

I'm so tired of thinking. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, yknow, to not doubt myself or my capabilities. I'm tired of love. I don't know what that is. To me, its just a whole mixture of feelings: good and bad. But if the bad outweighs the good, then love isnt that good after all isnt it?

I'm not even sure im capable of love.

I once knew what love was, but right now to me, its like... nothing is forever yknow. And I kinda learnt to live like that, never fully grasping on to anything because yknow its gonna go; either I'm going to let go or its gonna slide out of my own hands. I can't grasp on to anything, even if I WANT to. So maybe I shouldnt try at all.
I miss that security, that feeling of being safe, that feeling of being irreplaceable.

I'm not sure what you're thinking this time. Do you still think of me?

I want to cry.

sometimes, misery eats you up really slowly, and before you know it, it reaches the core....now thats when and where it really hurts.