Sometimes I ask myself why.
I feel like I'm falling into a cesspit of nothingness. I just want to back off, withdraw, quit, start again.
Yknow the feeling when you start something and everything is going well, it makes you happy and makes you wanna continue doing it. BUT when things start to go sour, make you feel bad about yourself, it makes you not wanna continue it because...its not good anymore.

Maybe I'm a perfectionist this way. I am very results orientated. If its not going well, im like...ah fuck this shit, I' wanna start from scratch. Same with people. If something goes wrong with certain someone, I feel like its "stained" and i dont wanna use it anymore. Yknow what i mean.

I just dont feel so good anymore.
Like a piece of white fabric, that has been stained brown. I just want to throw everything away. Everything.

Everything we ...

sigh.
what am i.