x

I feel really sad that everything had to turn out this way. I'm not even sure why, and thats the part that gets to me the most. And its like suddenly people are acting in another way or suddenly just...idk.
I just wish one day I would have a shell thick enough to hide in and not bother about whats going on outside of the shell. I wish I could bring this shell around whenever I go, be myself when I'm out of the "danger" zone and hide inside whenever its here again.

I feel angry too. I mean, even though I always tell myself not to care and just mind my own business, I cant help feeling affected too at the end of the day. Sigh I just cant wait for 2 mths to come and I'll be done and over with everything.

And I can travel and do the stuff that I like and I dont have to feel shitty again. I mean, right now I feel like i have too much on my plate. I just dont think I have enough room for any emotional baggage or turmoil atm.

God, please help me. :(
I feel really sad, and I feel tired putting up a strong front everyday when inside I'm just crying.